Not In My Favour
by potterjay.6466
Summary: What if there was no rebellion? What if Katniss and Peeta had to live out their lives as products of the Capitol? What if their daughter was entered into the Hunger Games? The story of Iris Mellark as she struggles to survive the Games. But can she make it out with her sanity and humanity still in tact?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

I wish I could say that I was surprised when my name was called. I don't remember much now as I sit perched on the edge of a velvet couch in the Justice Building. Only Effie trotting onto the stage wearing some ridiculous Capitol outfit and pulling out one of five slips of paper with the name Iris Mellark written on them. I remember rows of children clearing a path for me and my feet moving as if of their own accord. Sometime along the line I wound up in here but my brain seemed to go fuzzy from the moment my slip was pulled out of the Reaping bowl.

I don't even know how it could have happened. I mean, I don't even do tesserae; my family is so rich that my brother and I have never needed to. Just my friend has over thirty slips in there and I only have a sixth of _that_ amount and this is the whole of district twelve here. Well, I would like to say that, but then I'd be lying. I know exactly how it happened. Being the daughter of two victors and possibly the most rebellious people in Panem doesn't really put the odds in my favour.

Really, I had known that something bad was going to happen from the moment I woke up. When I say I woke up, I mean I woke up the second time after my mother's screams in the middle of the night- they get worse at this time of year. But anyway, I could just sense the misfortune from the very start of the day. I get those feelings sometimes; the deadly accurate hunches that fill you with a sickening feeling in the pits of your stomach. It must be something to do with victors and being so used to catastrophe that you begin to know when it will come. Today, I felt like judgment day was upon us at last.

The sun roused me early as it rose in the sky. In the process of turning over to sleep more, I realised with dread that it was Reaping day. Suddenly, I wasn't so tired anymore. I got up out of bed, got dressed and tidied my room for the first time in months just to keep my mind occupied and stop me thinking about what I thought was coming. Downstairs I was greeted by the tempting smell of bacon cooking. My father stood in the kitchen and handed me a plate of eggs when I walked in. "Morning," he said, but all I could manage was a practically non-existent nod in return before joining my brother at the table.

"Morning, pig," I muttered weakly at the sight of him stuffing down his breakfast.

He glanced up and replied, "You too, fatty."

We ate in silence, staring at the white wall in front of us. My father soon joined us too. He tried to make conversation but quickly caught on that we really weren't the mood. I think they could both tell today was the day.

"Is mom in the woods?" I asked after the last crumb of toast had been swallowed.

"Yeah, she left earlier today," my father answered and took the empty plate out of my hands.

I nod and get up. "Rowan, come with me," I said to my brother. Usually he would call me bossy or some other sort of meaningless insult but he knew there was no arguing on Reaping day and we honestly both needed the woods today.

In under an hour we were there, armed with bows and taking slow, quiet steps down our regular trail. We found our mother by the lake, crouched down and staring motionless at the still water. She jumped when she heard us and whipped around with an arrow knocked and aiming at us.

"Sorry," she whispered, seeing us stood there in shock, "I just thought- Never mind..."

"It's ok," murmured Rowan and went to sit beside her. I too went to console her in silence after a while and so we sat for hours, doing nothing and contemplating the horrors to come.

The Hunger Games broke my mother beyond repair. She relives them every night. Rowan and I pretend not to notice but I think they understand we do. We just try not to discuss the Games at all in our home and it regularly doesn't come up in training even though that's what it's for. Haymitch talks about it though. I'm sure they affected him but not in a way it's painful to talk about. If anything, his alcoholic addiction makes him the least insane of the victors. Because yes, I know my parents are slightly unhinged. My mother always gets upset like that around the Games and the victory tour. No tributes have won from twelve since the 74th so each year she watches more tributes die and that damages her the most.

Last night her nightmares were bad. Her screams pulled me out of my troubled dreams and into the blackness of my bedroom where your parents don't commit suicide and your brother doesn't get mauled by wolves and you don't have to stand and watch. I wish my dreams woke me up but they don't and so I have to live through them until the end so instead I'll settle for this.

The screaming and crying went on for a few minutes until it was unbearable to sit through in my cold bed with my feet slowly numbing. I got up and sneaked out into the hallway. I passed Rowan's door and debated whether or not to wake him but then thought better of it. Rowan and I are really close, practically best friends, and get on really well but he does not like being woken up. So I just stood outside my parents' room where I caught only snippets of conversation.

"He took them, he took them!" my mom cried out between sobs and some unintelligible words.

"Don't worry," my father soothed before adding on slightly grimly, "I won't let anything happen to them."

Soon she shut up and I returned to my disturbing slumber.

That day, we eventually got on with the hunt, catching a squirrel, two rabbits and picking some strawberries we uncovered a while ago. Later we trudged back through the near empty streets and up to the Hob where we traded our findings. Being just about the richest people there, we always make sure to be pretty generous with our prices and generally just buy liquor for Haymitch to keep him satisfied; my parents gave up on keeping him sober a long time ago. When there we saw that guy our mother acts awkward around again and once again he gave us a dirty look and grumbled something that sounded like "Catnip" or whatever. I don't know what happened between those two but I'll have to ask Sae about it some time.

Once back in the Victor's Village, I cleaned up and changed into the Reaping clothes my mother laid out for me. The dress was from a Capitol interview a while ago- we attend those regularly- and was bright red with long sleeves and a skirt that went down to my knees. Soon I had my hair braided down my back in a neat display of what was once a tangle of brown locks. None of us say anything as we leave the house for what could've possibly been the last time.

The square was crowded, people everywhere with dread displayed openly on their faces as the line of children signing in increases. As the woman took the blood from my finger, I couldn't help but looking at the Reaping bowl and wondering if not five but all of the slips had my name on them and right now, I think they did. But as I said, I don't remember what happened after that.

I jump when I feel Rowan's arm around my shoulder. I didn't even hear him come in. Suddenly, I realise that I was chewing my fingernails to the nub and stop instantly. Instead, I wrap my arms around his neck as tight as possible to stop my body from shaking. He smells like pine needles and baked bread. He smells like home. I just bury my face in his shoulder, breathe in his scent and hope he doesn't hear my sob. But of course, he does. Rowan reads me like a book. He pulls me out of the embrace, still holding onto my shoulders and locks his grey eyes into my blue ones.

"You'll be fine," he says "You've trained for this your whole life. You can survive." There is no smile on his face today. The reaping seems to have forced him to grow up in the space of fifteen minutes. My usually sweet younger brother stares at me hard-faced and reassuringly with no trace of tears in his eyes.

"But all that might not help me. We don't know what the arena will be like or the other tributes…" My voice trails off. I don't want to think about the other tributes at all; the people who will try and kill me so they can live.

"Trust me. You can do this Iris. You have more experience than all the careers put together."

True. My mother and father have suspected this for years and trained me. I go into the woods with my mother to hunt as well so not only can I hit pretty much anything with a knife and take down nearly all of my classmates in a fist fight, I can shoot with accuracy and know which plants are edible and- since my grandmother is a healer- medicinal. But the careers can be lethal. There'll be ones that are twice the size as me and can throw an axe as far as I can run.

"Just don't die and you'll be fine," he says without emotion.

"Ugh. You sound like Haymitch," I grimace as I think of our drunkard neighbour.

He snickers, his blond hair falling into the grey eyes he inherits from our mother. He looks up again and his face contorts into something of a smirk but I can't tell from the tears in my eyes. The peacekeeper comes in and forces him to leave. As he is shoved out the door, he nods at me with a certainty that sparks hope into me. I nod back in attempt to mimic his confidence but the second he released his grip on me, I had begun shivering again.

Next, in bursts my grandmother and aunt Prim. We just sit there in a hug and I try to swallow my tears for I refuse to cry in front of the Capitol. I hardly think it matters though. The Capitol adores me of course. My family have been interviewed there for as long as I can remember. At first I was too young to understand that these people could be organising my death as I spoke and probably said some treasonous things; even then I didn't like the Capitol. But when I was older, I began to understand how vital it was that I got every word right. So now, I have the audience wrapped around my finger. They even had me sing at the 92nd Hunger Games last year. So I really don't think it will be an issue if my face is blotchy because they'll all be tripping over each other to sponsor me anyways.

Prim sighs. "Why is it everyone in our family gets reaped?" I hear her murmur. I think because the Capitol is power mad wart on the face of humanity who is intent on destroying anything that could possibly threaten their influence on the rest of the country. Something like that anyway. They break from our hold and stand in front of me, Prim still clutching my hand. She squeezes it and whispers softly "It'll be okay." I hope so, Prim. I really hope so.

The peacekeeper comes again and she kisses my forehead before she is shuffled out of the room. This time, a group of kids from school come in. They all stand there looking around, unsure of what to make of the grandeur. I would say I was popular but I was mostly just respected. Very respected it would seem because I don't even know the names of half of them. One of them knocks a vase on the floor and the peacekeeper comes in pretty much straight away.

After that, my father's family come in. I just sit there awkwardly as they stand around the room, none of us knowing what to do. But my uncles pat me clumsily on the back in what I think is an encouraging way and my grandfather pulls me into some sort of hug. Luckily, my father's mother stays on the other side of the room. I can't stand the woman. I think she beat my father when he was young but I'm not sure; he doesn't talk about any of them much. Just as they are leaving though, she stops and looks at me, "You'll live. You're a survivor." Caught off guard by her sudden admiration for my abilities, I just sit there and nod shakily. She lets out a laugh that sounds more characteristically like a cackle and they're gone.

Soon, I too am lead out and then driven to the train. _My last train,_ I can't help but thinking. But no, I can't afford to believe that. I have other plans. The Capitol wants to kill me? Not part of my scheme. They won't get rid of me that easily and if I'm going down, I'm going down with a fight. When the door opens, I am met with the smell of rich food and wine (Haymitch must have made it here first) and the lavish furnishings in colours that are too bright to look at for too long. It is now that I get a good look at the male tribute. Undoubtedly Seam with his dark hair and greyish eyes. Thin too. I can see his mouth water at the sight of the food, probably hasn't seen anything like this in his life the poor thing. He's quite big though. A few inches higher up than me and I'm tall. I could take him down with a knife though. If it came to it that is. I don't think I could bear killing someone from the District. Unless maybe, the other tribute was that awful Reece Mills. He sits next to me in the majority of classes and mostly just insults my family. It's all I can do not to rip his throat out every time he opens his mouth. It took a good beating for him to stop but even after I gave him a black eye, he still does it. He's lucky he wasn't reaped or he would suffer a long and painful death at my hands.

Effie Trinket comes and tells us do pretty much whatever we want. I go into my room and change out of the reaping clothes into a simple shirt and pants before going to dinner. Before I walk in, I hear my parents talking with Haymitch and Effie in hushed voices. I try and listen in but the door slides open and I'm left exposed mid-crime. They all stop the second I walk in and just stare at me. Effie almost pityingly and my mother avoiding my eye with a red, blotchy face. My father smiles sadly with watery eyes as I walk over to sit by him.

"So, what's your strategy?" says Haymitch as I begin to shovel mashed potatoes into my mouth.

"Um, I don't really know. Kill them all I guess…" I say with a mouth full of food. These atrocious manners earn me a disapproving look from Effie.

He sighs. "That's not how it works. You'll be the most targeted tribute in there being the daughter of two tributes. They'll already see you as the biggest competition before the Games have begun."

"Well then I guess I could join the careers, kill them while they sleep. I mean, if I'm seen as dangerous they'll probably want me as an ally. Really the only threat here is them." He swallows his food and looks at me as though considering something. Just as he is about to speak, the compartment door slides open again and this time when we look around, it's the boy. I can't even remember his name. Dell or something maybe? Anyway, Dell stands there and glares at us accusingly. He must know that they chose me over him. He must know that he's going to die.

"Hope I wasn't interrupting anything," he growls. The indictment in his voice makes me wince.

I try and tune out as much as possible as Haymitch goes on about the Games. I don't want to think about the Games at all. The very thought of it makes the rich food fight to come back up. I'm not scared that I will die. I don't think I will die. I'm more scared about killing someone. How the hell do you kill someone? As though sensing my distress, my father squeezes my hand under the table but I barely feel it. My whole body feels numb with terror as I sit there. _Happy 93_ _rd_ _Hunger Games_ I think bitterly as I ride off to my certain doom. No, being the daughter of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark does not put the odds in my favour at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope you guys like Chapter two. Please review and follow, it would mean a lot to me!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games; they belong to the genius that is Suzanne Collins.**

* * *

I stand shaking as I wait to go on stage for the interview. Everything has gone well these past weeks considering the fact that tomorrow I'll be sent to a death match. The crowd went wild for me at the tribute parade and I won't go into detail but my outfit was brilliant. Let's just say it was stunning and flaming. What's more, I managed to score a 10 in training in which I excelled. I didn't do much really, just throw knives at things but apparently the Gamemakers liked it. Training was good too, though I didn't actually learn anything new but that worked to my favour because the other tributes are scared of me or envy me and the Careers were very impressed by my skills.

I don't know where to begin with the Careers. There's six of them, all from districts 1, 2 and 4 and they are dangerous. From four there is Acionna and Percy. I didn't think much of them at first. Neither are very tall or big or smart and Acionna seems more interested in preening her perfect golden curls than learning how to survive. But then I saw them fight and they have skills. Very fast, agile and good with spears and tridents. When I saw them throw, I made a mental note to not try and run from them.

From District 2 is Diana and Cai. They're much bigger than me and very strong. Diana fights mostly with swords and axes but can use most other weapons too. Cai however, will fight excellently with any sharp thing you hand him. But if there's one thing about them it's that they're too big to have that vital agility and I figure I could use their weight against them.

District 1 brings Valour and Sapphire. Valour is pretty good with a sword and stuff but is the weakest of the group. Sapphire though, is deadly. She is quick, smart, strong and skilled especially with knives and her abilities top mine any day. What's more, she isn't loyal to the alliance and could easily use a similar tactic to my own and kill us all. Yes, Sapphire is the one to beat and my parents and Haymitch agree.

Still, I managed to work my way into their alliance and though they clearly don't trust me, they accepted me which is trust enough for me to murder them. I think murder seems a more accurate word for the situation. As unsettling as it is, I have gotten quite used to the idea of murder.

A few days ago in training, I was watching the six over at the archery station. Most failed miserably and missed the target completely. They were just about to move on when, in a moment of not thinking, I made my way over to them.

"What do you want twelve?" snapped Diana.

"You need to pull back further," I said plainly, picking up a bow and demonstrating a perfect stance.

"So?" she said. So I just released the arrow, hitting the heart area on the target. She just blinked at me, mildly impressed.

"What else can you do?" she asked.

I went round from station to station with them, showing off as much as possible. I figured that everyone would know I'm a natural so why hide it? At the end, they gave each other looks before Sapphire said, "Meet you at the Bloodbath and make sure you get the bow."

So yes, I'm a Career but tomorrow night there will be no Careers. Ceasar is just finishing the interview with the girl Ivy from District 7 when Dell prods me.

"What?" I hiss.

"Quit daydreaming. It's not a good look on you."

"You quit sulking. It's not a good look on you," I retort.

Ever since he discovered I was with the Careers he hadn't spoken to me and we avoided each other like the plague. I think he was under some sort of illusion that I was going to have allies in there but that would never end well. I'd much rather stay away from him in the arena or else his infuriating personality would force me to kill him or I'd end up actually liking him and feel kind of guilty when he died. Basically, allies: not a good idea.

"I'm not sulking, I'm just mildly upset by the fact I have to enter a fight to the death tomorrow which I am not going to win," he says with a low growl.

"So you've accepted defeat then?" I whisper, not meeting his eye. It's a good thing he found out he wasn't winning by himself because I would hate to break it to him later on.

"And you're sure your winning? Well at least one person from District twelve will make it back to their families."

Despite how awful I feel about the things I'm saying, I continue, liking myself less and less with every word, "I'll send them a post card for you. Who should I make it out to?"

"Sage, Sarah, Cole, Troy and Brooke. Tell them not to put in any tesserae and I hope that my fifty slips will hold them up for a few months."

His words hit me hard and painfully like someone stabbing me in the back repeatedly. "Fifty," I say in disbelief.

"Yeah. Not everyone lives a life of luxury, Iris," I look at him to find he's tearing up but he looks away immediately, blushing.

Somewhere I hear Ceasar Flickerman introduce me and Dell jabs me in the back again, shoving me on stage. The second the lights find me I'm poised flawlessly and smiling at the crowd as the cheer and scream my name. It takes a few minutes for Ceasar to get their attention so in the mean time I wave and blow kisses to the audience. When we sit, he turns to me smiling and says, "So Iris, you have been here in the Capitol many times but what is it like to be here as a tribute?"

"Um… well it's different, Ceasar. There's the fact that you often find yourself stood in a room with people who are mentally calling for your blood so that's an interesting experience."

The crowd laughs at my response and as does Ceasar. I try not to think of how much joy it would bring me to kill them, the ones who will be entertained by my suffering.

Ceasar chuckles before adding, "You always say that the food here is great, how are you enjoying it now?"

"Let's just say it's a wonder I haven't put on weight in the past two weeks." The crowd falls into hysterics again and I take the opportunity to smile at them as I picture all their heads spontaneously exploding.

"So was it a surprise for you when you were reaped?" he asks.

No, not at all, "Well I guess it's a shock for everyone, you know. There's like thousands of names in there and some people had a lot more than me," is all I say, leaving off the part about President Snow planning my death for years.

"Yes," he agrees, "Honestly Iris, I don't know how we are going to be able to say goodbye to you."

"Oh well I'm coming back," I state as the people cheer, "Loosing the Hunger Games is not part of my plan and I'll be victor even if I have to kill every tribute in the damn arena." I hope I sound as fierce as I think I do.

Somewhere, the buzzer sounds and we both stand up. "I'm afraid we're out of time folks. Now Iris, farewell for now and we hope to see you back here in a while."

I get up and walk away from the applause and chanting of the Capitol and head straight toward my mother on the other side of the room. She embraces me tightly for a moment.

"Was that ok?" I ask shakily.

"It was great," she says, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"The crowd loves you!" squeals Effie in concurrent.

I stare at the screen and see Dell stagger on. Instantly, I look away. I don't want to think about him or his Sage or his Sarah or Cole, Troy and Brooke. And I really don't want to think about how guilty I'll feel about his death. _But it's not your fault,_ I try and convince myself, _It's the Capitol's._ I look around the room to try and block him out. Sapphire catches my eye and saunters over.

"What?" I say, more irritably than I intended.

"Just wondering if you have cold feet yet?" she says, innocently, "District Twelve isn't exactly "Career material" and you don't look like a killer."

"Did you not hear me?" I growl, "I'll kill anyone in there who stands in my way."

She tilts her head to the side as though inspecting me so I stare back at her. She's pretty. She has a tall, willowy figure, blond hair and pointed features. Her eyes are blue but not the bright, vivid kind like mine, they're cold and greyish; the eyes of a predator.

She smiles sweetly after a while, "Good." I will take great pleasure in killing her.

The interviews end and Ceasar finishes by reminding everyone to tune in tomorrow as if they have the option not to. Dell joins us and we head up to the tribute quarters in silence. Effie wishes me good luck before I go to my room. She looks slightly teary at the prospect of my death because, after all, the woman has known me forever.

Half way down the hall, Dell stops me. "Look," he says, "I know you don't like me and you really don't see anything in me," I already don't like where this is going, "But I was thinking, we're both from the same District and we both just want to get back to our families so maybe we could team up."

I hesitate, "Dell, I don't think that's a good idea,"

"Why?" he pushes.

I sigh, "I just don't really think that it would work out and I really don't want allies."

"Why not?"

"Because I already have a plan and it only involves me winning," I answer. He is really testing my patience.

"But maybe we could-"

"No, Dell."

"Fine," he snaps.

"Fine!"

I storm into my room and take off the black dress I wore for the interview and start to remove the makeup until I look like me again. But then I find myself thinking: who will I be tomorrow? One thing is certain though: I won't be me.

Though I need sleep badly, my mind keeps wondering to dark places and I think about what horrors the next day will hold. Somehow I end up outside my room at around midnight after admitting I will not get any sleep. I just wander up to the roof that my father showed me a few days ago. When I open the door, I find him sat there with my mother. I go over to them and we hug for I don't know how long. We just sit quietly and stare at the inky sky and the people below who don't have to deal with the Hunger Games or their family dying or President Snow trying to kill them.

When we release each other, my mother looks at me and takes my hand in hers. I feel her press something into my palm and when I look I find the mockingjay pin that she wore in her Games.

"To protect you," she whispers and kisses my forehead softly.

"Thank you," I reply quietly.

"Iris," I hear my father's voice next to me, "Promise me that when you're in the Games, that you'll only kill if there is no other choice. Please promise me."

"I promise," I say without thinking.

"Go get some sleep," he says so I stand up and return to my bed where I stay for the rest of the night.

When I wake, I'm quickly taken to a hovercraft filled with the other tributes where I eat as much food as possible without it coming back up. A woman comes over to me and shoves a needle in my forearm and I try and supress my pained cry. Diana snickers at me from the opposite side and I return the favour when she is caught off guard and practically screams as her tracker is inserted.

As we land, I am greeted by my mother who escorts me down to the launch room. I am so grateful for the pin right now and I hope it will help me cling to my sanity as I fight to live.

"Iris, I know what your father said last night but don't hesitate to kill if you have the opportunity," she says. I look at her in shock but she stares ahead.

Eventually we make it to the Stockyard where I will be prepared for my brutal slaughter. Cinna waits for me inside and fits me with a greenish coloured jacket and pins on the gold Mockingjay my mother gave me. We sit around the clean room for an age. He manages to keep me calm mostly but the fear and nausea is just building up inside me threatens to blow me up.

"Ten seconds to launch," says a voice.

Somehow I manage to drag myself to the glass tube in the corner and I stand in it shaking like crazy. I look at Cinna in terror but he nods reassuringly. The countdown reaches zero and I start to rise through the ground and up to the arena. Around me was a blinding white nothingness and then I am met with bright sunlight. I am stood in a clearing, surrounded by dense forest and ahead of me is the cornucopia, sparkling gold in all its glory.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the 93rd annual Hunger Games begin!"


	3. Chapter 3

**And here is chapter three...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games; they belong to the genius that is Suzanne Collins.**

Sixty seconds and then run. Sixty seconds to check out the arena, analyse my chances of surviving the bloodbath and then run. I figure if I run the careers will surely hunt me down. They'll all be going in for the cornucopia, grabbing the deadliest weapons, picking off as many tributes as they can. I need to make sure I have weapons too considering everyone in the arena will be coming after me. I have to make sure I'm with the careers too. They're my biggest obstacle to survival and I must have the upper hand on them. Yes, bloodbath it is.

Glancing around, I notice Sapphire a few tributes to my left. She looks at me suspiciously, catches my eye and nods, willing me on. I nod back and position my feet to run to the pile. Amidst the many goodies in the mouth of the cornucopia, I spot a selection of knives, a bow and many other sharp, lethal things that I could use. Many other tributes are looking greedily into the centre but I try not to notice them, nor think about which of them I will kill. No one is my friend here and if I'm going to make it out, it will be alone.

The countdown reaches ten seconds. Ten seconds to go. Ten seconds and I could be dead. Ten _days_ and I could be out of here. But I can't think of that now. I must concentrate on surviving the first few hours. Five. I place my feet so I'll be running towards the knives at the centre. Four. _This is it then, a matter of life or death_. Three. _I can do this, I know I can_. Two. I get ready and… One. Run.

I'm at the centre of the cornucopia before any other tribute. I quickly seize the sharpest knife I can find and turn around to find the boy from six running at me. I one swift movement, I open his throat up in a red smile. He falls dead to the ground. It's all I can do not to drop the dripping knife in disgust. I try not to think about the fact I just killed him and busy myself by snatching up as many weapons as possible. This time when the girl runs past, I just throw the nearest thing (which happens to be a spear) at her legs. She falls down, screaming in agony before Cai hacks her head off without a thought.

All around me are tributes fighting and dying at the hands of my allies. I want to leave. To run into the woods and not look back. But I can't. I know I can't. Careers fight until the end when everyone is dead. If I want to earn their trust, this is the time to do it. Spotting Sapphire pinned down by the much larger boy from eleven, I take a bow, nock the arrow, and fire it into his head. Sapphire rolls him off her and stands up to regain her composure. She gives me a look of approval before turning to get into a fight with the girl from seven.

For the rest of the bloodbath I collect all the supplies I'll need in the days to come and try not to get killed. The girl from three does try to take a bite out of my arm but Sapphire stabs her in the back. She falls dead at my feet. Great, Sapphire and I are even now. It would have come in handy for her to owe me.

"Check her," she snarls at me, "Since you're not going to do anything else."

Glaring at her, I kneel down and examine the corpse. She didn't have much except a small dagger which I attach to my belt before standing back up to find the bloodbath has finished. I glance around. I am surrounded by dead bodies. The ground I stand on is painted a sickening red and I look down in horror to find that after stepping too close to a body, the soles of my boots are now caked in dried blood. Just as I feel my breakfast is about to make a reappearance, the cannon booms to signify the death of a tribute. Nine more sound and I can't help but thinking of how I killed two of those. To my revulsion, the rest of the careers jump around gleefully, waving their bloodied weapons in the air. In effort to join in, I let out a small whoop but my voice sounds hollow and hoarse.

"Grab whatever," says Cai, "I say we go hunting."

They all grin manically at the thought of more bloodshed and begin to make their way towards the most brutal looking armaments. I stand there awkwardly, having already collected supplies. So instead, I occupy the time by shooting at the out skirting trees and soon I get the feel of the bow. The string is a little too tight for comfort but I suppose beggars can't be choosers.

"Ready?" I hear Diana say. We all nod and then we're running through the forest in the quickly fading light. Within hours, we're all panting and have to sit on the ground or lean against the trees. Then, the anthem plays and the sky lights up with the Capitol seal and the faces of the ten dead tributes are projected above us. First come the male and female from district three, one I recognise as the girl Sapphire killed. The girl from five comes too; I think her name was Heph or something. Then, to my dismay, the boy from six with the dark hair is shown- the one I killed. For little reason too I might add. The girl from his district is displayed as well, then the boys from eight and nine and the girl that Cai killed from ten- the one I speared in the leg. Next is the dark skinned boy from district eleven- who I also murdered. And lastly, Dell.

I manage to turn away from the others before I throw up. My last meal comes back up slimy and brown and foul smelling. How is Mason dead? How is that possible? Dell, the dark-haired grey-eyed boy from the Seam. The boy who had five younger siblings for whom he had entered his name into the reaping bowl over fifty times. I think of him now, cold and motionless. He must have gone in for the bloodbath. Truthfully, I didn't like him at all but he was still from my district. I swear I will kill whoever did this to him.

I wipe my face and turn back around where my allies stand staring at me. Acionna hands me a canteen of water that was scavenged from the cornucopia and I gulp it down, grateful to rid my mouth of the awful taste. "Who killed him?" I ask, looking at my peers as scrutinising as I can manage.

"None of us if that's what you mean," says Cai.

"Think it was the girl from five," shrugs Diana, "Looks of you, she's lucky I got her first."

I didn't notice that I had my fists clenched until now. I shake my hands about, trying to get some feeling back into them. "I don't really care," the second the words leave my mouth I know that they're not true, that I really did care about my district partner, "He would've never won anyway. No one from twelve ever wins." _Except me,_ I add silently.

"Let's just make camp," interrupts Acionna, "We're clearly not going to find anyone tonight."

"Fine," says Sapphire, taking back charge.

"I'll make a fire," and then with a flip of blond hair, the small girl from district four sashays off into the woods.

The rest of us lean against the trees or lie in piles of leaves to try and get comfortable. Acionna soon returns and eventually we sit around the fire eating packets of nuts from the bloodbath. An insubstantial meal, yes but after the entire contents of my guts came back up, anything is welcome in my stomach. Cai volunteers to take first watch and I'll take second. The others begin to fall asleep one by one. First goes Acionna, then Percy, Finn, Diana and finally Sapphire. I don't though. I keep my eyes open and my hand on the hilt of my dagger. I know if I fall asleep that one of them will likely kill me. Soon, Cai "wakes me up" so I sit at the foot of the tree and watch until I'm sure he's asleep. The dagger comes out and I sit wondering whether or not I should do what I'm about to do. I'm just standing up when I hear Sapphire moving. Is she awake? I pause for what must be a few minutes. Not another sound comes from her. I get back up and go for the nearest tribute. It's Diana. I slit her throat and she dies soundlessly. The cannon sounds and I stand there, praying none of them woke. Thankfully, they didn't. Next to her is Finn. He goes the same way. I move over silently to Acionna. My knife is just about to come down when her eyes snap open. I clamp my hand down over her mouth and her eyes widen in terror as she sees the knife. I try and contain her but she bites down hard. I pull away. She has just enough time to scream before I kill her.

The others begin to stir but the first one up is Sapphire. She jolts up as though she was never even asleep. She kicks my knife out of my hand and it goes flying into a tree. She is stood up before I can grab another and kicks at me again. I fall to the ground and get a mouthful of leaves. Spitting them out, I roll to my side to avoid her axe. It becomes lodged in the ground where my head was a second ago. By the time she has pulled it up, I'm flying through the undergrowth like a wild dog from a fire. Behind me, Sapphire shouts at the boys to get up. They'll be after me now. _They'll have to catch me first_ I think. Yes, I'll be on the other side of the woods by the time they can get to where I am now. I can outrun anyone in my class and I can most certainly outrun them.

My feet are flying in the fastest sprint I have ever managed. Adrenaline courses through my body until that's practically all I am. They are still behind me but nowhere near to catching up to me. I can hear them panting and crashing past the trees. At my side I spot an area of thick bushes and turn toward it. They follow me. I reach the bush and dive into it. I have to run slightly side on to squeeze through but I make it in. Stray twigs scratch my face and I trip over roots with every step but I refuse to fall over or stop moving.

Behind me I hear Sapphire screaming and cursing at me. She must have been able to get into the compact plantation with her thin body. She is making a huge racket as she hacks away the leaves with the axe. _Catch me if you can,_ I think and know she never will.

I make a point to twist and turn as much as possible to confuse her and it works because her noise fades away. My feet have been tripping over now but I get up immediately each time. I can't feel my body at all now which is good because, if Sapphire were to catch up, I doubt I would feel her axe when she killed me.

Hours later I'm still running. I'm not sure what from anymore. The careers will have long given up on chasing me and will have stopped somewhere to rest and scheme. I may be running from the three children I just killed but that would be pointless. They're long dead, they can't follow me. But really that's a lie because I know that deep down I will always be haunted by them. Five now, it must be. Five young lives I have taken. Five children taken from the world. Five families mourning their sons and daughters. I knew this place would change me but one day to become a killer is practically a sin. So I keep running. But you can't run away from yourself.

 **Dun, dun, dun...**

 **Hope you liked it! Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter four! Please follow and review!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

It takes me a few days to slow down to a walk for fear that another tribute will jump out of the trees and attack. I'm so weak and exhausted that anyone could come and kill me by simply shoving me over and the mix of tiredness and self-pity would mean I would never get up. Right now, I'm so disgusted at myself I would welcome death. I deserve to die really. To make up for those people I killed. But I suppose then they would have died for nothing. After all, the only reason I killed them is so I could win.

I am so furious that my plan failed. The Careers are more dangerous now than ever. They will undoubtedly come up with some elaborate trap to draw me in before killing me in the most agonising and demeaning way their devious minds can think of. Until then, they are on a rampage, obliterating three tributes in what I think was three days.

My sanity has begun to slowly diminish like a spool of thread being unwound. I start thinking like prey and jump at the sound of the slightest disturbances. Even birdsong brings me rushing for cover for over an hour. I am so afraid of everything that I haven't even stopped to find food or water. The only thing I could bring myself to swallow was a cracker from my backpack and the thought of Dell cold and still brought it right back up.

I travel to parts of the arena that I haven't seen. The ground becomes rocky and covered in pebbles that I stumble over with every movement. Eventually the ground gets soft and sandy and I find myself stood on a large, warm beach. In front of me is the largest body of water I have ever seen. Without thought I run to it and scoop water into my hands and pour it down my throat. It hardly makes it to my stomach before its reappearance. I keel over, coughing and spluttering to get every last bit up. It tastes even worse coming back up.

I have no strength left now and I curl up on the sand with the waves lapping over me. The sun shines down on me, warming my body pleasantly. At least this is a nice place to die. I lie there and wait for the end. Should I be doing something right now? I feel like I ought to say sorry for the things I've done in the past days. But I suppose that would be pointless. There is no one to hear and it will hardly make a difference to those kids. I can't bring them back through apologising.

Instinctively, my hand goes to my chest. There, I am met with rough shape: the mockingjay pin. My mother's pin. Will she be okay with my death? Obviously not. This is her worst nightmare come true. And what will she do to herself? If she kills herself then it will destroy my father and then what would happen to Rowan. No, I can't die. My death will ultimately kill those around me and I need to live long enough to avenge Dell. "Not today," I croak.

By some means, I sit up. My frame struggles to support my weight but I do it. What I need desperately is water. So what I need is sponsors and pity won't get me those. I begin to hike back into the woods where I find a squirrel. After gutting it and carefully checking for parasites, I eat it raw. There is no way I am lighting a fire here. That is like screaming "I'm over here, come kill me!" at the top of my lungs.

I feel slightly better after this but the meat tastes dry and nothing else. I know if I don't get fresh water soon, I'll die of thirst. "Would it kill you to send me some water here?" I grumble. As if on cue, the water lands beside me attached to a parachute. I dive for it and gulp it down in an instant. I stop myself before I drink too much; this will have to last. Instead I sit and sip slowly for the next few hours and I gradually begin to feel stronger. I back up my things and move again, this time slowly and quietly with my bow loaded and ready. The light fades again so I stop to sleep for the first time in days. The anthem plays and I look up to find that there were no deaths today. There are still twelve of us left and eleven must die for me to win. I suppose I'm halfway there.

In the morning I go hunting again, leaving my supplies hidden in a bush by my camp. I try and target squirrels since I can eat them raw but I'll have no use for birds or rabbits without means of cooking them. I notice that I'm running low on water again and plan to search for some after eating. Four squirrels later I head back to my base and skin and gut my game.

I seem to have gotten my courage back now and I feel like I can do this again. All I need to do is figure out a way to take out the Careers and I've won. For now I need to regain strength and let the other tributes fight it out for a while until there's a handful left. Today I'll find some sort of stream to fill up my bottle then continue to move around. I wouldn't want to stay in the same place for more than a night because the longer I stay, the more likely someone will find me.

After devouring half a squirrel, I hear them. Their song fills the trees and reminds me of home. The mockingjays are here. I touch my pin again and try and remember the song my mother used to sing when I was young. Something clicks and I open my mouth to sing:

 _Meet me down by the river bend,_

 _Where the iris flowers grow,_

 _Meet me down by the valley's end,_

 _Where the wind will softly blow,_

 _Meet me down by the rowan tree,_

 _Where you and I are free,_

 _You must be good; have bravery,_

 _For I love you and you love me._

After a moment, the birds take up the song. The unearthly sound travels through the air and fills me with a burning fire that moves down from my chest and strengthens my entire body. It's hope. I feel unstoppable.

"That was beautiful," says a voice behind me.

I jump around to find the district seven boy standing there. How could I have been so stupid? Singing in the middle of the forest? He'll kill me now with his axe. I could make a break for it but I'd have to leave everything here and then where would I be? Besides, I'm sure he can throw that thing pretty far.

"I heard you sing at the 92nd. Just amazing. Your voice has this certain thing to it, I can't quite place my finger on what it is but it's fantastic." He's playing with me for sure. Maybe to give time for an ally to sneak up on me. He doesn't notice that I've picked up my knife.

"I heard you in the forest before as I was passing by. We thought we'd stop by for a visit." We. Then I feel the sharp blade at my neck.

"Want me to kill her, Ash?" says my captive in an almost bored tone. It's a girl, probably his district partner. I try and think of a way out but there is none. If I kill the girl, Ash will kill me and if I kill Ash, the girl will kill me. This is it, and all because I just had to sing in the arena.

"Nah. Unless you want us to?" I was just figuring out if I could dodge his axe when he says it.

"No, please don't," I wheeze. Ash nods in my direction and the pressure on my throat disappears. I didn't realise I was holding my breath. I turn to the girl. She is about the same size as me with black hair and brown eyes, the same as Ash. She holds one of my knives in one hand and a large axe in the other. I snatch the knife back. She only blinks at me.

"So, you going to repay us for sparing your life?" she says.

"Depends," I say, hoping to sound like I wasn't scared out of my wits that one of them would throw their axe at my head.

"We don't want to take all your supplies or anything, we've got like way more than we need. But I've seen you throw and you're pretty good, plus I'm guessing that you killed those Careers?" I nod, unsure where this is going.

She sighs. "Do you want to join us or what?"

An alliance. I didn't really want to join an alliance. The Careers were just a strategy to get close to them and kill them but this seems genuine. I'm wary though. They're from district seven so I don't doubt their skills with those axes and I bet they could kill me easily. But they could've killed me just then so really it would be pointless to just let me live longer. Unless they're really dumb, they actually want me to join. Besides, the alternative is death so I guess this is better.

"Okay but try anything and I'll rip your throat out."

"Don't plan on it," says Ash, "Pack your stuff and we'll head to base camp."

Ash and the girl (who is called Ivy) assist me in collecting my weapons and food and stuffing them into the backpack. I notice that Ivy walks with a limp and when she sees me looking she just says "The bitch from one didn't go down easy," and reveals the large gash in her upper left thigh.

"Sapphire isn't injured," I state.

"Then she's hiding it. I know where I hit her." She covers up the cut again. It's a nasty wound. It's quite deep and looks infected.

"You should treat that," I say but she ignores me. She's as stubborn as I am.

We run through the forest. They say that they've set up a camp by the beach but they plan on moving later. That honestly sounds like a good idea; despite the beauty of it, the gamemakers haven't tried anything yet but I can just imagine the huge tidal wave and I want to be as far away from the sea as possible when that happens. Eventually, we come to the cliff.

"We have to climb down now," says Ash. He takes the lead and begins the descent. I follow soon after. The climbing is hard and by the time I reach ground my hands are raw. Once down there, I discover that they have very cleverly built the campsite on a ledge sheltered by the cliff making it invisible, yet above ground level to avoid the tides. You can tell that they made it to the bloodbath because their weapons lie both around and inside a tent. They have food too. All of it is Capitol style so it's clear they haven't hunted yet. Next to a fire sits a tall, tanned boy from district ten. He warms his hands on the flames and sharpens his glistening sword. He barely looks up when we arrive.

"Hey Joan, I think that's sharp enough," says Ash when we arrive. In the short time I've known him, I've learnt that Ash seems to have this way of talking like everything is some big joke that he formulated, that this isn't a big fight to the death and in days we won't all possibly be dead.

"You can never get it too pointy," replies the boy. His tone is serious, dull even, compared to Ash.

"Fair enough. We have a new ally. Joan meet-"

"Oh I know who she is," he says a little harshly. Does _everyone_ know who I am?

"Joan, do mine," says Ivy, throwing her axe in his direction. He just about catches it, narrowly avoiding the blade.

"You know, I'm not your slave, Ivy. I could leave at any time," he cries.

Ash rolls his eyes, "And then where would you be, Jo. You've said that every day and you're still here now."

"Well I mean it this time," he grumbles in reply but his cheeks have gone bright red.

"You say that every day too," adds Ivy, popping a cracker into her mouth.

Joan just flushes red again and returns utmost concentration onto his now incredibly razor-like blade. He looks up again when we hear the clunk. The sponsor package falls at my feet and they all stare at me.

"Open it," says Ivy, giving me a look of distrust and eying it suspiciously. I do open it though and it doesn't contain the doomsday device, but twelve fresh loaves that I acknowledge as the breads from districts ten, seven and twelve. We each take one to eat, saving the rest for later. I take a bite and am met with delicious warmth, like it has just come out of the oven. Images flash in my mind of my father baking in our home in the victor's village. I used to love helping him when I was young, less so as I got older but he still makes my birthday cake every year. I haven't cared much for birthdays since I was twelve because I knew that aging meant more names in the reaping ball. He still did it though because that's just who he is. Because he has loved me unconditionally every day of my life. I think of his last advice on the roof, how he told me only to kill if I have to, oh how well I followed that sentiment.

"Are you okay Iris?" I open my eyes to find Ash crouched in front of me, a concerned look on his face. I didn't even realise I was crying. I must have totally zoned out. I try to swallow up the tears and return to my look of indifference and half succeed but I'm so furious for crying in the first place that my anger causes the tears to continue.

"I'm fine," I lie, unconvincingly. His worry stays as he continues to look at me, Ivy has her eyebrow raised and Joan just ignores me, I get the feeling he doesn't like me.

"Perhaps we should all just get some sleep," he says, "I'll take first watch."

Suddenly I find myself sleeping with my protection in the hands of my competitors. I try to stay awake but with the warm fire and the shelter of the tent, I find myself drifting off to sleep to the sound of the waves crashing into the rock.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter five. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

"Get up, lazy."

"Five more minutes, Rowan."

"We're moving camp."

When I open my eyes I find, not Rowan, but Ash stood there eating my squirrel.

"Sorry, it's good meat," he says through a mouth full.

"It's fine," I mutter and pull myself off the ground. My legs and feet are numb and my entire body aches from spending the night on the floor. I shake off the leaves and dirt that got on me in the night and drink the last drops of water I have. When I turn around, Ash hands me a bowl of meat and a fresh bottle of water.

"Thanks," I say and take them from him, stuffing chunks into my mouth. The meat is actually cooked from the fire and tastes good.

"Joan got the meat," Ash tells me, "District Ten: Livestock. He enjoys killing animals a little too much really."

I snicker at this comment. Joan does seem the type to take pleasure in chopping up pigs. I wonder how much he enjoys chopping up people.

"Why are you allies with Joan?" I blurt out.

"Well, we just kind of ran into him after the bloodbath," he says quietly, "We had a lot of supplies and I didn't really want to kill him so I thought why not?"

"Oh."

We stand awkwardly for a moment before Ivy comes in and tells us to quit talking and pack up. As it turns out, the others have a lot more things than me and I'm packed up way before they are. I offer to carry one of the tents but Ash turns me down, saying he'll do it and I should carry less and guard as we walk with my bow.

It takes some time but eventually we are ready and begin to tread through the woods. As told, I walk ahead, looking around and occasionally killing a few animals. Though there are no disturbances, I keep my bow loaded at all times in case Sapphire decides to make an appearance. After several hours of walking, Ivy demands we stop for lunch, claiming to be hungry but her dreadful limp suggests otherwise.

We sit in a small clearing and eat the rest of my kills. No one says anything for a while and the silence becomes so uncomfortable that I stand up and leave, saying we need more food just in case. I don't mention the piles of stuff from the cornucopia but I just need some time alone.

"Be careful," says Ash.

"Yeah, and don't go too far or Ash'll have a panic attack," chips in Ivy. Ash replies by punching her playfully on the arm.

I head out with a loaded bow and wander around for a few minutes until I realise that I'm really not in the mood for hunting. Rather than going back to camp, I pass the time by throwing my knives at nearby trees because, hey, a little showing off never hurt anyone. I am rewarded by a large sponsor gift that I decide to open back at the camp. When it falls, I get distracted and my knife flies off past a tree. I pick up the gift and go to retrieve it. It is lodged in the ground right by a stream. Ignoring my weapon, I go straight to the water and clean my face and hands. I didn't notice how many cuts were on me until now and they sting slightly as they are submerged in water but it's a good pain. I reckon if we were to follow the stream down then we would find a good site like maybe a cave or something.

I'm about to go get the others when I see it. Stood a few meters away is a creature that seems to resemble a wolf but quite larger. It is sniffing at some sort of plant and I'm surprised it hasn't spotted me yet. My mind screams at me to get up and run before it sees me but whether it's fear or the strange fact that I am somewhat compelled toward the creature, I stay crouched on the ground. I know this thing is not a real animal and so that can mean only one thing: Gamemakers. That would explain why there is something very unnerving about it that I can't place my finger on. Suddenly, somewhere in my confused mind, two and two are put together and what with the yellowish coat and grey eyes I don't know how I didn't see it before.

"Rowan."

The creature turns to me, growling.

"Rowan, it's okay, it's me, Iris."

The snarling intensifies as "Rowan" advances toward me. What did they do to him? How dare they? I continue to attempt to reason with the beast but this is not my brother any more.

"Rowan, stop," I plead as he persists stalking me like prey, "It's me, Iris. Stop!"

The creature is now right in front of me and angry as ever but I know that Rowan is in there somewhere and he would never hurt me.

"Stop it, Rowan. You wouldn't hurt me. Stop!"

All attempts to keep calm are failing miserably and I'm almost shouting. It stops in front of me as though he can recognise me. I slowly reach out with my hand. All I want is to calm him, to stop him from ripping my throat out, to destroy who did this to him. I turn away but still look at him from the corner of my eye, hoping he will recognise me in his animal mind.

I see what he is about to do just on time. My hand is pulled away just as he goes to bite it with his sharp teeth. I turn and run. The creature follows me. I have a second's head start but it's hot on my heels with its four, powerful legs. How could I have been so stupid? I know where these wolves come from: the 74th Hunger Games. There is less now but the affect is the same. Terror spreads through my body and it's all I can do not to shake with fear. I concentrate on making it back to the clearing where Ash and Ivy are waiting with their axes to kill it with.

"ASH!" I scream into the woods.

"IRIS?" comes the reply to my left. I try to run the general direction of Ash and Ivy's shouts, running faster than I have ever run in my life. I come to a patch of familiar trees and I know where I am. I burst through into the clearing where the three stand with weapons in hand.

"What is it?" bellows Ash.

"Mutt," I pant. It's then that the wolf crashes through the trees, howling ear-splittingly loud. Ivy shoves me onto the floor behind her and throws herself at the mutation with her axe. Ash and Joan follow her and attack it from all angles. A part of me is screaming for them to stop but I know that that thing is not Rowan and it never was.

Blood is splattering everywhere as the three hack it to pieces. I watch as the creature lets out one final anguished howl and the light fades slowly from its eyes. Rowan's eyes. My allies collapse exhausted on the ground, covered in blood and gasping for breath.

"Are you ok?" asks Ash through breaths.

"I'm fine," I lie, "I found a stream nearby, you should clean up."

Minutes later, we pack up and leave to the stream I found. It takes longer to get there this time because we're all still washed out from the attack and Ivy's leg isn't helping either. We make it there at about midday and sit for ages just scrubbing ourselves clean of dirt and blood. I catch a glimpse of something in the water and it takes a moment for me to realise that it's my reflection. In my defence, I look nothing like me. My hair is matted with leaves tangled into the dark mess. My face is still covered in dirt and scratches, despite all of the washing. My clothes are filthy too and my t-shirt is splattered in blood. My eyes have changed too somehow. They look tougher, less kind, dangerous: I have the eyes of a killer.

I get up and turn away in disgust. "I'm gonna go and find that sponsor package," I say.

"You got a sponsor package and you left it here?" says Ivy accusingly.

"Yeah, well I was a bit preoccupied with the giant wolf-mutt trying to kill me," I snap back.

"Fine. Just try not to bring any more back," she shrugs.

I make off into the woods, clutching my knife handle so hard that my knuckles turn white. Eventually I come to the area where I got the gift and begin searching the area. The ground is muddy here and it's not long before I make out my own footprints and the massive paws of the mutt imprinted in the ground. After searching for any signs of the package I notice another set of prints. These are distinctly human and too small to be mine. Another tribute must have come and taken it while I was escaping the mutt. I doubt that the prints belong to the careers but there's still the district eleven girl and she could be working with them. It's too dangerous to go alone so I decide to head back to the others. I arrive back at the other end of the stream a few minutes later.

"What?" ask Ash when I return.

"Someone has the package; I think it's the girl from eleven."

Ash and Ivy both stand up immediately, grabbing their weapons.

"Joan, stay here," commands Ivy. Joan mutters something that sounds like a curse word under his breath to which Ash responds "That's the spirit."

We set off, following the footprints through the forest. It becomes increasingly difficult as we get to more dry land but I manage. I'm glad that I have them with me now because the odds are that I won't have to kill the girl but the odds have a tendency to be against me nowadays.

 **Please review and follow! (Yes you! I know you're reading this.)**


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